What If We Gave It A Little More Thought?

Here’s an example – our son expressed interest in attending a charter high school next year instead of his cluster high school that he would normally move on to.  Given his interest in computers, Jack and I were quick to simply assume that his reasons were because this charter school emphasizes technology.  During a meal, one of us happened to ask “What is your biggest reason for wanting to go to a different high school than your friends?”  We were very surprised to find out that a lot of John’s reasons stemmed from social reasons (ongoing bully situation, etc.).  Once we understood, we could address the underlying reason.  We couldn’t condone running from a situation – because, unfortunately, you will always have someone in your life with whom it is difficult to know how to relate (family member, co-worker or friend).  I considered this situation with our son to be one of those fundamental important moments in ‘raising children’ . . . and we almost lost the opportunity.

How many times do we overlook chances to make a difference simply because we don’t take the time to give it some deeper thought?

Something worth thinking about don’t you think?  Go make a difference in someone’s day!

Thanks Jack – you took a moment a couple weeks ago and I appreciate it!

When you think about it we spend a lot of time “putting out fires.” Imagine how much better life would be if we could prevent the fires from ever happening.

Jill and I don’t always agree. But in many respects Jill and I are “on the same page.”

Jill does make a great point. Not just with kids, with co-workers, friends and even with spouses; too often we react based on previous experiences. We don’t take the time to learn the details and background of the situation at hand.

Not only do we overlook chances to make a difference; sometimes we also complicate situations further. We hurt loved one’s feelings and offend our friends because we make assumptions.

We set ourselves up for failure in doing so. Without full understanding, we jump to a conclusion and once done it’s very difficult to give up.

Psychologists call this “confirmation bias.” Studies have shown that people are 2 times more likely to seek information that supports their opinion then to consider evidence that would refute those beliefs.

Yes Jill, I am stubborn but so is every other human, its normal and its natural.

Knowing that we all have a tendency to seek the easiest path to meeting our personal expectations, we all have the opportunity to improve our ability to confront and address the “fires” we routinely try to put out.

When faced with any challenge, especially if you have already established an opinion, take a moment and force yourself to consider the unknown. What other factors could impact this issue? Who else could have influence over this problem? What alternative approaches are there to address this situation.

By forcing yourself to consider other perspectives you will be in a better position to determine the most effective approach.