Are Video Games Ruining Lives

When Nintendo first came out I was a young adult and managed on more than one occasion to whittle away an entire day without “coming up for air.” Literally I could go for 8-10 hours without eating or drinking.

In retrospect, I completely wasted a significant portion of my youth! I’ve often said I regret nothing in life… mainly because I have learned from every experience.

When Jill and I had John I proclaimed that he would not have video games until he was older. How old would be determined based on his maturity, behavior and engagement in other activities. I had no clear idea exactly when, I just knew it would be later.

As it turned out John got a game system from a relative when he was 8. It was a surprise gift under the Christmas tree. What transpired between this relative and I will be held for another day, but in the moment what could I do? I couldn’t take it away from the Kid when he was screaming with delight as if he’d just hit the lotto! I would have been forever the enemy.

We let John keep it. Since then, one has turned into three (mostly paid for with his own money). We have instituted rules:

• Only 2 hours max/day
• Only after homework/chores
• Never after 9:00 p.m.

Honestly, during school he does well sometimes playing very little. But at times they become an issue. John’s attitude that life should not interfere with his playing can become a point of friction.

More significant to me is that the excessive gaming is taking away from his opportunity to develop other interests.

When he cannot play he acts as if there is nothing else. If he could never play I believe he would find something else.

I’d like to severely limit his gaming opportunities. Am I wrong to do so?

I’m not afraid to admit that Jack has a couple valid points.  It would be nice if Jack were man enough to admit the same to me . . . but this is where he’d say that I haven’t been right yet so he hasn’t needed to admit anything.  Sorry, I digress.  I’ll have to address this injustice in another post.

John’s homework load warrants very little time for video games during the week.  He’s in the 8th grade and is carrying an advanced academic load.  On the odd occasion that time allows for games, I’m not going to deny him some time to unwind doing what he enjoys.  The weekends and summer are another issue.  We definitely have to constantly remind him “to do what he has to do before what he wants to do” – our household mantra.  Then I am reminding him to take a break and then ultimately, later in the day I am telling him to shut it down for the day.  This is a regular occurrence during the summer.  If he’s been difficult about gaming, we have made him take a couple days off – which let me tell you – goes over really well with a 14 year old boy.

I keep hoping that at some point John will recognize how long he’s been playing – but then I look at Jack and realize he has no idea that he’s been blogging for hours on-end without a break.  The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree when it comes to video/computer addiction.

Lately, John’s obsession has switched to World of Warcraft.  Again, he’d spend all day playing if it weren’t for the fact that Jack and I sometimes need the computer.  Neither John nor Jane have computers in their bedrooms – we have the main desktop and a netbook that  we all share as needed.

So, are video games a problem in our house – honestly, yes sometimes they are.  Does that mean we should issue stricter rules or take them away – no I don’t think so.  As I said earlier, during the summer is when John has the most free time, and we do establish different rules during that time to try to encourage a balance in his life.

I would love to hear how you handle video games with your teenager.  Please share your thoughts.