Should Kids Have Cell Phones?

Why were there so many rules? Out of respect for others in the house was one reason. The other is costs. Money used to be a cherished resource, today it is just another consumable.

The phone is not a right of every American citizen, it is a privilege that must be paid for. Monthly expense for local phone use for decades only cost about $10 per month, and it was a luxury then. Today you can’t get a cell phone for less than about $40 a month and it is a necessity?

But let me get past my old fashion and financial concerns. How can we even justify a cell phone for a kid? The excuses run from “its cool” and “everyone else has one” to “what if I’m running late” and “in case of emergency.”

I won’t even honor the trivial justifications. The last two however may hold merit. However, consider if your child is running late, is there not a friend with a cell phone near by? Where are your kids that they don’t have access to a phone? Certainly the school office would let them use their phone assuming there is not a pay phone nearby.

Using the “emergency” excuse is about the only one that has a chance to make me reconsider my staunch view on cell phones for kids. Again, for younger kids, will they ever be anywhere that someone trustworthy won’t have a phone that can be used?

Are they teens and driving? Well now we are getting closer to a legitimate reason. My solution, give them yours! I’m not going to say we shouldn’t take reasonable precautions, but we don’t have to spend hundreds to do so, they can borrow mom and dad’s!

The only time Jill has even gotten me to consider the idea is when she suggested that a cell for the kids would allow us to eliminate the land-line. I’m ashamed to admit, it made me pause. The draw of the savings is tempting, but I cannot seem to come to terms with the fact that putting a phone in the hands of the kids is a temptation they don’t need.

I totally disagree with giving young, elementary-aged children cell phones.  I remember when our daughter was in 2nd grade . . . yes, 2nd grade and came home to tell me her friend got a cell phone.  My question is WHY?

There may be underlying family reasons for people feeling their younger child needs a cell phone, I’m not here to criticize.  For our family, we never saw a need for them to have cell phones when they were young.

Now, we have a son who will be in High School next year.  Last fall, when his 3 close friends turned 14, they all received cell phones.  Our son, who is a year younger but in the same grade, still doesn’t have one.   Does he feel bummed that he’s ‘the only one at school that doesn’t have one’ . . . yep, you bet.  When asked whether he truly needs one at this point in his life, he admits ‘no, but it would be cool to finally have one’.  Point taken, I get the desire to not stand out and get possibly teased (not by his close friends) about not having a phone.

I look at a cell phone as a modern-day right-of-passage.  When I grew up, it was getting my ears pierced when I turned 13.  Sorry, Jack, but I was one of the kids who had a phone in my room when I turned 15 or so.  The phone my mom gave me didn’t ring, and you couldn’t make out-going calls on it.  So I could answer the only other phone in the kitchen, put it down, run to my room, take the phone off the cradle, run back and hang up the kitchen phone and zoom back to my room to hyperventilate in my friend’s ear for the first 3 minutes of my 15-minute phone call.  But I loved the fact that my parents gave me the privilege (however restricted it was) to earn the right to keep a phone in my room.

I think our son should get a phone before he goes to High School.  I see it as a step of trust and responsibility.  I’m not talking about an iPhone with data access – I’m talking about switching my plan to a family plan where we can share minutes and texts.  Texting is the primary way I communicate with my husband while he is traveling, except for his nightly family call.  I never use all my minutes anyway and honestly, at John’s age, I don’t think he’d live on his phone (yet).  His friends use their phones only to make necessary calls and they don’t text each other.  I think it is the expectation you set for your kids that impacts how it is used.

When John goes somewhere with his friends or church youth group, I give him my phone.  That works for these occasional events, because I’m either home or Jack is in town.  But his social calendar is only going to get busier as he gets older.  The high school he will go to allows kids to text during lunch, so if needs to stay after for a club meeting, he can simply text me and let me know.  I think it is time . . . and I think he has earned our trust and is ready for the responsibility.

As for giving up the landline, I’d be more than willing to do that.  I totally support Jack’s desire to cut costs where we can reasonably do so  . . . sorry honey, but I don’t include cable as reasonable.  But that is for another post.