They say “it never hurts to ask” and “you will never know unless you ask”. How true!
| He Said |
She Said |
| You never have to pay full price!
There may be a sign with a price clearly printed but this does not mean it is the final price. I’m not just talking coupons here, I am talking about negotiation and competitive shopping.
The best way to save is to not spend in the first place but if you really need something don’t just buy it from the most convenient store, it may well be charging a premium you don’t have to pay. Take the time, make the effort to shop around.
If you happen to begin your shopping at home, Google and the internet can be your friend. Within moments you can find out the range of prices a particular item is selling for.
Don’t stop with pricing, re-enter the search criteria along with the words “coupon”, “discount” or “sale price”. These may very well bring up some other offers. Take it one step further by entering your search term with the words “coupon code” for additional options.
When you get to the local store or shop don’t hesitate to ask the clerk or manager if necessary if they can do better. Often the clerks have immediate access to coupons or have the authority to knock another 10% or more off. Get the manager and you may do even better, especially if you can share the pricing of the competition you have found on-line.
Discounts don’t only apply to retail stores. Virtually anything is negotiable. Call the cable company, your insurance broker and utilities once a year and challenge them to do even better. Some calls may not result in success, but for all the others you will get nothing if you don’t ask. |
Jack has influenced me a lot lately when it comes to finances. I’ve always been the one to accept the status quo and not rock the boat.
Over the last couple years – we as a family and couple have tried to be more fiscally responsible. Honestly, Jack was the total catalyst for this decision.
I can’t say negotiating comes easy to me – I would rather go to the dentist than haggle with someone. Yes, call me chicken – I’ll flap my wings now. But on a couple occasions, I have tried to ask for a discount or reduction and actually been successful.
There was a period of time when we were very fearful that Jack would be laid off – so we tightened our fiscal belts and started reducing our monthly costs – canceled our gym membership, dropping unlimited texting service and data plans, price comparison shopped for groceries and canceled our TIVO for starters. Let me take this opportunity now to say that it is amazing how much a company will offer to reduce your monthly service plan when you tell them you are canceling your service. If a company can offer such a lower price for the same service just to get me to stay a customer – perhaps they should have been charging me the lower price ALL ALONG! It totally pissed me off to realize that a company offered to reduce my plan by almost $25/month just to not cancel. I felt totally ripped off and more energized than ever to close the account. Sorry, needed to vent . . .
I did ask our satellite service whether we could “negotiate” our plan. I wasn’t willing to cancel (yet), but figured it couldn’t hurt to ask. I received a $10/month reduction just for asking. Go figure – Jack was right (don’t tell him I said that!).
When I was younger my mom asked for a reduction on a piece of clothing she was buying for me because it had something on it (a snag or a spot or something). At first the sales clerk bulked at the idea and said no. My mom asked for a manager and was quickly given the discount she wanted and an apology.
So, I still find it very difficult to negotiate. But our family situation and need to become more fiscally responsible has helped me to do things I never would have thought to do before to save a little money |
Readers: As a consumer do you just pay the price that is printed or do you fight for the best value?
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Do you remember the day of hearing a human voice on the other end of the phone line?
| She Said |
He Said |
Remember the day when you would hear a human voice every time someone answered the phone? Yes, I’m dating myself here, but I think it’s time we take a step back and re-evaluate the importance of the person-to-person relationship. I’m so old that I remember calling numbers and getting no answer – yes, before the beloved answering machine. When I finally convinced my parents to buy one – I thought it was the best thing in the world. I don’t know why – I was a teenager who hardly ever talked on the phone. I still like the idea of voice mail – I do find it to be more efficient than trying to remember to try again later.
When I was in my early-20’s I worked for a company that I felt was very old-fashioned and chauvinistic. The women (regardless of position) only wore skirts and dresses of moderate length, closed-toe shoes, addressed all the men as “Mr. so-n-so” and women generally were regarded as second-class citizens. But the biggest point of contention I had was the fact that the company required a person to handle every phone call. The company didn’t have voice mail and didn’t believe in the concept. They also didn’t believe in e-mail. Being one of the women that had to handle these phone calls I couldn’t understand why we couldn’t incorporate voice mail into the system.
Here I am 20 years later, now hating the fact that every phone call I make is answered by a machine. I’m so tired of hearing “For English, please press 1″ or have to jump through mega-hoops just to get a voice. Our society has become so electronic and digital that we are losing sight of the importance of human interaction. How many people hand write a thank you note these days? Your lucky if you get a brief thank you e-mail.
As for that company I worked for many years ago – I still have bad feelings about the sexist, chauvinistic way they did things. But I must admit that I was wrong about the importance of a person answering the phones. It does provide a higher level of service and is a welcomed approach to doing business.
My final tidbit – my son’s cotillion instructor told the class that you should smile when you are on the phone, because the person on the phone will hear it. I don’t know if it’s true – but let’s give it a try. It never hurts to show extra kindness! |
Having spent many years of my life making a living on the phone I will admit a smile can have an impact. But take a moment to consider how little could get done if we didn’t have the marvels of modern technology.
Pay rates have gotten so large in the U.S. that companies simply could not afford to hire enough people to take all the phone calls considering their current size.
If we were to step back and eliminate voice mail then e-mail would have to be on the chopping block too. How much would you be able to get done at work if you actually had to answer the phone every time it rang. Or imagine if in addition to the phone calls you get you also had a phone ringing for every e-mail and text message sent to you as well.
Not only would it be overwhelming and prevent us from getting work and life done because of the constant interruptions; think about how much it would slow progress if you actually had to keep calling back over and over because someone was not at home or their desk!
We also have to think of the benefits of having these technologies to use. Whether or not someone is in you can still communicate with them when you want to. Not having a human voice is sometimes the best thing that can happen. It makes it easier to deliver bad news. It also makes it easier to be rude without offending anyone.
The mobile social network site surveyed 20,000 of its members and found that 47% admitted to dumping over text messages. A few quick keystrokes and its over. How sweet is that? (The wife assumes these were all men!)
And what about those calls from charities. When the automated message comes on the line you can hang up without feeling bad.
Just take a moment and imagine, what would life be like if we always had to rely on a human answering the phone. It may not be all its cracked up to be! |
Do you miss having a human voice with which to interact when you make a phone call?
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How do you tell your daughter that you are the “Tooth Fairy”?
| She Said |
He Said |
| I never imagined that I’d be in the position to tell my 9-year old daughter that there isn’t a “Tooth Fairy”, and that I am the one placing precious surprises under her pillow each time she loses a tooth.
I don’t know how I figured she’d ever suddenly be aware of the truth behind Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. Maybe someone at school would shatter her world with a dose of reality, maybe she’d walk in on Santa leaving presents under the tree – I really hadn’t given it much thought. Until now.
During the Holidays, I remember Jane asking things about Santa, but I naively believed she was asking ‘in the spirit’ of the Holidays and I answered accordingly. In the same conversation, I mentioned that I needed gift ideas from both kids for Santa – with my teenage son asking whether there was a price limit on the list for Mom and Dad (not Santa). I answered that the North Pole was hit by the recession too, so don’t get too lofty on his wish list. My son John and I were a little puzzled at some of Jane’s Santa comments, but again, we took them to be in the ’spirit of the Holidays’ and went along our merry way.
This week, Jane lost a tooth and made a comment about putting a note under her pillow for the Tooth Fairy. I asked what the note said, and she told me that she requested a pencil or stickers instead of money this time. I smiled and said that maybe the Tooth Fairy didn’t have them in stock. My husband, Jack, looked at me and said, “Mom, do you have any pencils?” Jane looked at me in utter shock and said, “Mom, are you the Tooth Fairy”? I actually thought she was playing along and answered, “Do I look like the Tooth Fairy”? Jane answered that it would be OK if the T.F. didn’t have them – but she figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask. Inside, I’m in a mild panic trying to figure out if I have any girlie pencils or stickers hidden anywhere . . . only to find out that I didn’t. I left her pillow empty that night, figuring I’d go out the next day and get her requested pencil or stickers – but I did remove the note and tooth.
The next morning, she comes downstairs to tell me that the T.F. took the note and tooth, but didn’t leave anything – so I must have been right that the T.F. doesn’t carry special items with her. I took her comments in stride – she’s always been one to ’stay in character’ when we are having funny conversations. The next morning, Jane found two Japanese erasers under her pillow along with a note (in my handwriting) apologizing for the delay. She was absolutely elated and talking about the Tooth Fairy as if she were the best thing since sliced bread. By the end of the brief conversation, my son and I were left thinking that she actually believes in the Tooth Fairy.
I’m now not-so-mildly panicking trying to figure out how to find out what she still believes in without giving her a massive reality shock. I don’t want her to go to school talking about the T.F. only to get embarrassed by her classmates. I really don’t know how much of her actions were her playing along and how much were her actual beliefs.
So, if anyone has been in my shoes before, I would appreciate hearing how you handled this ‘end of the innocence’. |
Contrary to what Jill might say, I recognize that I am not always right, but I am right more often than her!
I’m beginning to see a trend here. Every time a challenge presents itself, Jill will bounce it off me to get some feedback. Hey, this is what friends are for, right? But when she doesn’t like the answer she simply ignores me and turns to others for their opinion.
You know what, I’m not offended. In fact I see this as an opportunity to prove once again that I am right and she is wrong.
Here is the deal. We’ve touched on this issue previously. I have suggested that we go ahead and bust this bubble only to be turned away. Jill, I think, is having a hard time accepting the fact that her babies are growing up. Allowing Jane to remain in this dreamworld where Santa and the Easter Bunny exist serves to extend their childhood and thereby gives Jill the opportunity to maintain the status quo.
Knowing Jill, she will say I am being cold and harsh. I’ll admit that. But that doesn’t mean I intend to bust our daughter’s bubble in the same manner.
As I see it we have only two possible outcomes to this.
1) At an appropriate time we come clean with our daughter that the “spirit” of Santa and the Easter Bunny are important but that they are only spirits. In doing so we have the opportunity to develop deeper levels of trust and maintain our open channels of communication. At the same time we can help Jane develop as a person and gain a greater respect for tradition.
2) We can let some bastard of a kid at school shatter her world in a public and humiliating way. As intelligent as our daughter is I’d like to think that she would figure out how to deal with it and life would go on. But even if she does there will always be that little voice in the back of her head saying “you’ve been misled by your parents.”
Honestly, I expect when the day of reckoning comes we are going to learn that Jane has long questioned the truth. When Jill speaks of Jane’s “utter shock” I saw something a little different. What I saw was the acting of shock.
Maybe I’m wrong about that but either way it is an issue that has to be faced, I believe, to prevent it from becoming a potentially damaging and embarrassing life experience for Jane.
So who is right and who is wrong? Should we continue to debate this or deal with it? And more importantly how should we handle it, is it time for a confrontation? |
How old were your kids when they learned the harsh reality of no Santa, Tooth Fairy or Easter Bunny?
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Are video games the antichrist digitized? They can be so much fun. They draw you in with great graphics, engaging music and the joy of endless challenge. But is there also a dark side?
| He Said |
She Said |
| Truth be told I am a recovering gamer. I grew up during the early days of video game consoles, Atari, Intellivision and Commodore 64.
When Nintendo first came out I was a young adult and managed on more than one occasion to whittle away an entire day without “coming up for air.” Literally I could go for 8-10 hours without eating or drinking.
In retrospect, I completely wasted a significant portion of my youth! I’ve often said I regret nothing in life… mainly because I have learned from every experience.
When Jill and I had John I proclaimed that he would not have video games until he was older. How old would be determined based on his maturity, behavior and engagement in other activities. I had no clear idea exactly when, I just knew it would be later.
As it turned out John got a game system from a relative when he was 8. It was a surprise gift under the Christmas tree. What transpired between this relative and I will be held for another day, but in the moment what could I do? I couldn’t take it away from the Kid when he was screaming with delight as if he’d just hit the lotto! I would have been forever the enemy.
We let John keep it. Since then, one has turned into three (mostly paid for with his own money). We have instituted rules:
- Only 2 hours max/day
- Only after homework/chores
- Never after 9:00 p.m.
Honestly, during school he does well sometimes playing very little. But at times they become an issue. John’s attitude that life should not interfere with his playing can become a point of friction.
More significant to me is that the excessive gaming is taking away from his opportunity to develop other interests.
When he cannot play he acts as if there is nothing else. If he could never play I believe he would find something else.
I’d like to severely limit his gaming opportunities. Am I wrong to do so? |
Oh Boy! I knew it was just a matter of time before this issue hit the blog. I wasn’t looking forward to it then . . . and I dread it now. But . . . here goes nothing . . .
I’m not afraid to admit that Jack has a couple valid points. It would be nice if Jack were man enough to admit the same to me . . . but this is where he’d say that I haven’t been right yet so he hasn’t needed to admit anything. Sorry, I digress. I’ll have to address this injustice in another post.
John’s homework load warrants very little time for video games during the week. He’s in the 8th grade and is carrying an advanced academic load. On the odd occasion that time allows for games, I’m not going to deny him some time to unwind doing what he enjoys. The weekends and summer are another issue. We definitely have to constantly remind him “to do what he has to do before what he wants to do” – our household mantra. Then I am reminding him to take a break and then ultimately, later in the day I am telling him to shut it down for the day. This is a regular occurrence during the summer. If he’s been difficult about gaming, we have made him take a couple days off – which let me tell you – goes over really well with a 14 year old boy.
I keep hoping that at some point John will recognize how long he’s been playing – but then I look at Jack and realize he has no idea that he’s been blogging for hours on-end without a break. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree when it comes to video/computer addiction.
Lately, John’s obsession has switched to World of Warcraft. Again, he’d spend all day playing if it weren’t for the fact that Jack and I sometimes need the computer. Neither John nor Jane have computers in their bedrooms – we have the main desktop and a netbook that we all share as needed.
So, are video games a problem in our house – honestly, yes sometimes they are. Does that mean we should issue stricter rules or take them away – no I don’t think so. As I said earlier, during the summer is when John has the most free time, and we do establish different rules during that time to try to encourage a balance in his life.
I would love to hear how you handle video games with your teenager. Please share your thoughts. |
Readers: Are video games problematic in your household? Have you had to implement rules to control their use and what are they? Please leave a comment below and share your experiences with us all.
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This is how I enjoy a ‘Ladies’ Weekend’ on the cheap.
| She Said |
He Said |
| I have to give credit to Jack for my ability to take a ‘Ladies’ Weekend’ for many reasons. Firstly, he schedules to be in town so I can leave on a Thursday. Secondly, he takes over total parenting while I’m gone – I leave a list so the animals get fed (no, not the kids) and the kids get to whatever event they may have in my absence. Lastly, he uses his hard-earned airline and hotel points so I can go with minimal cost. We really try to save our pennies – so I usually go thru periods of guilt that I’m meeting my high school best friend in Florida for 4 days. It makes me feel less guilty by doing it on the cheap.
This will be our third year getting away for a weekend of things girls love best – good food, shopping and chit-chat. After the first year – I came home and tallied my receipts and was shocked to realize how much I spent. This was before I tried to vacation on the cheap. So, last year Jack shared his points with me, but I still needed to pay for the car rental. I used my Rewards points to purchase gift cards for restaurants (that I knew we would frequent) and American Express gift cards to shop. I only shop once a year for myself and wait to do it at the outlets with my friend. Half of the fun of our vacation is being able to shop together – since we live 800 miles apart. Last year, we didn’t even hit the beach or hotel pool. We walked around, played putt-putt, shopped, ate and watched chick flicks in our room. It was a relaxing, glorious time – I highly recommend it!
When I came home last year, I tallied my receipts and realized I still spent more than I thought – even with $250 in gift cards. So, this time, I am challenging myself to spend less than $50 cash. I’ll still have to pay for the car, but I plan to use more gift cards for the restaurants we know we love - P.F. Chang’s and The Melting Pot. Not to be selfish, but I’ve decided to not buy for the family – I didn’t take that into consideration last year and spent over $100 on them. So unless I see something that totally ’speaks to me’, I’ll refrain.
How do you shop or vacation on the cheap? I need all the ideas I can get. This is my one big ’splurge’ of the year, but I’m striving to do it as economically as possible. Or, am I wrong for taking the time to go away without the family? Share your thoughts. |
Based on the topic I’m not even sure I should write other to say…
Jill, it is your weekend for a reason. You spend the whole year working 24/7 and this is about the only time you have to not only sit and eat bon bons if you want but you are not even on call!
The recession has impacted almost everyone and we certainly were not immune. We have taken a number of steps to reign in spending to ensure we continue to accumulate more savings and whittle away at the mortgage.
In the past I always associated the term frugal with the word cheap. However I have come to learn they mean very different things indeed.
Frugal is the efficient use of your resources, it is making sure you get as much value as possible out of your time, effort or energy.
Today I am proud to consider that we have become frugal. We are making sound monetary choices and have reduced significantly the amount of money that we waste.
The purpose of all this effort is not just so we can pile money in the bank (though I have no objection to this!). The purpose of frugality is so that we can accumulate wealth over time. It is with this wealth that we are able to afford to do the things that are really important to us.
Jill, you have done a great deal to help us achieve our goals! If you want to splurge some while on vacation, please do. |
Readers: While it may come across that Jack has provided an open checkbook, we all know there are limitations. There always are and should be. But these limits can be stretched. The more effectively the vacation money can be spent the farther it can be stretched. If you have any suggestion please make a comment below!
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Is it true, do good girls really like bad boys?
| He Said |
She Said |
| Here is a rare moment (I wish) where I will show my true ignorance about women.
Is it true? Do women really like bad boys?
My whole life, every message I heard told me that if I wanted to attract a good woman, I needed to treat her like a lady, be a gentleman, open doors, ladies first and never burp in their presence.
All the while, through school and into adulthood I’ve met couples that I would have never thought would be possible. You’ve seen it; the gorgeous girl next door hanging on the arm of the tattoo laden biker type guy whose every other sentence must include a string of 4 letter words. Or maybe it was the intelligent sweetheart hanging with the neighborhood nerd.
For most cases I may be exaggerating a bit. But we know it happens.
Honestly, more power to the guy but how does it happen?
After a troubled relationship gone bad I can see a woman wanted to go out and experience the unique. We all know that at times women and even men will use a date as leverage to make another jealous.
In the end don’t most women want to end up with a partner that will consistently treat them with respect and be there as a friend?
Why do bad boys get good girls? |
Ok – I can’t say I have surveyed anyone about this – but I have, throughout the years, been known to have a couple conversations with my peeps regarding this subject. Sometimes it starts by watching a character on tv – sometimes it starts by watching the bad boy walk into a room. Either way, I too have been tempted by the dark side.
In many instances, women are tempted to just ‘let their hair down’, lose a little restraint and dabble in bad boy-ville for a while. Why? I think it’s the idea of doing the forbidden, the unexpected and just being free. I’m not talking about doing the horizontal limbo here, just some socializing and flirting. Coming from a 40+ married with children chick who had a very sheltered upbringing – flirting with a bad boy was pretty out of my league – I didn’t do any flirting growing up. The one time a bad boy did show me some attention (ok, we’re talking 20+ years ago), I questioned whether someone paid him to approach me – imagine an early ‘you’ve-been punked ‘ scenario. I remember feeling absolutely shocked that the quarterback of the rival high school would actually consider even talking to me much less watching the submarine races together (we were at the beach – so submarine races keeps with the theme, huh?)
Alas, the bad boy left the beach and went home, as did I. My momentary bad boy experience was over – I couldn’t stay on the dark side long enough to give up my morals or virginity.
So, Jack rest assured that although girls like me may have a momentary lapse of judgment in my youth, I much prefer the gentleman who genuinely cares about me and my feelings. I’ll take my best friend and lover any day over a bad boy.
. . . however, Jack . . . if you’d ever like to be my bad boy biker cabana boy . . . I’ll gladly go to the dark side again! |
Readers: Is Jack out of his mind and totally shallow to even be asking this question? – Then again, Jack may not care anymore… he’s off to pick up his new Harley! 
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