Every relationship has a weak link. If you are lucky, the other links are strong enough to compensate. Some links are at the end of the chain, it may not matter if they break. Others are right in the middle, if they break; Game Over!
| She Said | He Said |
| Let me confess now – I readily admit that I am not as affectionate as I used to be. I can remember being like a bunny! These days, sleep has become a precious commodity and I savor every minute.Regarding intimacy – when we are on the same page – things are great. I have to admit, it is almost always me who is not only on a different page, but an entirely different book altogether. It feels like that book (intimacy) is locked away in the fire safe.
I would say our marriage is a strong one. The trust runs deep. The friendship runs long. If there is a weak link in our bond it is the physical side of our relationship. Not a comfortable subject for me to discuss in a post especially, but honestly in private too. If you read our earlier post, I mentioned that I am very shy and private and PDA isn’t comfortable for me. I see a common link building here. Jack is very open and honest and likes to discuss anything and everything – often at length. I have difficulty sharing my thoughts on intimacy and the lack of it – and I know that causes great frustration for him. He keeps it under wraps but I know it’s there. We have moments when I can share a few thoughts, but there are other times when he asks me something and I have a min-freeze, anxiety moment. I feel that fight or flight moment – a panic to get out of this conversation as quickly as possible without hurting his feelings (again) because I’m just not able to discuss it. Am I the only one who has difficulty talking about this? How do other couples bridge this gap? |
Damn, I wish I’d been there when she wrote that! I just missed another opportunity!I am no Casanova but I’ve had a few relationships. I am no psychologist but I’ve seen enough and heard enough to know that the best way to overcome a problem is to deal with the problem.
Is intimacy a problem for marriages? I honestly don’t know. Is it a problem for us? As surprised as I am to say it, no. Whether we do the dirty once a week or once a month I am still going to be devoted to my wife. Any longer than that…? What bothers me more is Jill’s unwillingness to discuss the issues. Will talking about this change her mind or her feelings? I don’t know, but if we talk I will at least know where she stands. Both Jill and I grew up naive. As we entered adulthood I took the opportunity to explore and learn while she remained cloistered in her shell. (Sorry babe, just stating the facts) Jill’s unwillingness to open her eyes to the bigger picture has held her back and prevented her from enjoying so much that life has to offer. I believe virtually everyone has difficulty talking about intimacy, at first. But most of us find and take the opportunity to push the envelope. When we don’t get burned we push it a little further. Before long, we are talking about things that, well… we’ll keep it clean here! Hey folks, help out a struggling guy here. Help Jill understand that not only is it OK but it is fun to open up and talk about the unspoken. Just in case others can’t provide some advice on how to bridge this gap… |
J.K.If ever we needed help, this is the one folks. Please don’t be shy, share your suggestions on how to talk about intimacy.
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