 Any one else fighting the Battle of the Bulge?
| She Said |
He Said |
| I used to be in shape. I used to not have to worry about what I ate. I used to look decent in clothes. Then I hit 40 . . . and it all went to hell in a hand basket. Jack would probably pipe in here, if he could, to say that my demise came way before I hit 40. He would probably be right, but I lowered my standards of what I would deem acceptable. Pathetic, I know – but I was trying to be realistic of how I was willing to look without becoming a total gym rat.I learned a lot about myself when I finally challenged myself to lose weight. I was 37 or 38 when I recognized that I needed help. I joined a gym and hired a trainer – and it was the best thing I ever did. I wasn’t “fat” – I was really out of shape and about 25 pounds more than I wanted to weigh.
Here is where some might say I was being stubborn – but honestly I was trying to make a lifestyle change, not just lose weight fast. I started counting calories – trying to stay close to 1,200. I even gave up my Cherry Coke – which I have to tell you was the supreme sacrifice for me. But I didn’t make serious dietary changes, because I know myself well enough to know that I wouldn’t maintain living on rabbit food. I exercised a lot of portion control – which was pretty eye-opening to see how much more food I ate than I should have. I’m happy to say that over the course of 2 yrs – I lost 24 pounds and really got my body in better shape. I was not bikini material, but I felt I could look ok in my clothes again. More importantly, I felt good – and that’s a really big deal.
Then, we moved to another state. I knew it was a great move for the family, but it left me feeling a little lost. I don’t deal with change well and I don’t make new friends easily – so I was floundering like a fish out of water for a while. I joined a gym when we got here and I was ok. I wasn’t using it as avidly as I did before the move probably because I was in a “blue funk” for a while, but I maintained my weight and conditioning for a while.
Jack will probably take exception to the correlation I’m about to make. When the economy nosedived, and we felt his job may be in jeopardy, we tighten our belt straps and canceled the gym among other things. I told myself I could do it on my own – I know the core exercises to do, I’ve got DVDs, even my son’s Wii. To make a long story short, I’m almost back where I was when I hit the gym in the first place 5 years ago. I haven’t gained all the weight back – about 15 pounds – but not working out regularly has made me lose the muscle tone that I worked so hard to get.
I’ve had kick starts – where I talk myself into re-starting my exercise routine. They haven’t lasted longer than a week or so. I know I need a regiment. I need to know that someone is waiting for me – a trainer, a buddy, someone to prevent myself from talking myself out of getting off my lazy butt and working out. I hate admitting to myself that I am no longer strong enough to do this on my own. I admit that I need help to exercise. I need a catalyst to get me moving and make progress.
I saw a Curves commercial and had a little glimmer of interest. I haven’t had that in a while. I know Jack doesn’t want me to join a gym again – I don’t even have to ask the question to know the answer.
How do you motivate yourself to get moving? Do you do it on your own? I could really use some suggestions – because I don’t like how being like this makes me feel. This feeling encompasses so much of my overall mood. Please feel free to leave me a comment – even if you feel the need to give me the proverbial “SNAP OUT OF IT” |
Our bodies are designed to be moving, but we don’t, we sit on the couch with a bowl of cereal ice cream. For thousands of years humans only survived by hunting food and tilling the soil. In the last hundred years that has changed for our population. Now we sit in a car while we drive to a store and stand in line; food is now handed to us, we no longer physically work to survive.
Until just a few hundred years ago all our ancestors lived the same. They ate when there was food and looked for it when there was none. Like chipmunks, our bodies have a natural tendency to store excess fat when times are good in preparation for when food is scarce. Our instinct is to eat what we see, when we see it.
In today’s world we see and have access to unprecedented amounts of food. We should not be surprised that excessive weight is a national concern.
If weight loss comes only with the aid of trainers and gym memberships, then comes back when we return to our normal routine, it is a red-flag that trainers and gyms are not solving our problem, they are only covering it.
Hiring a trainer or joining a gym might be the catalyst that gets you started, and if that is what it takes, maybe, just maybe, it is worth the cost.
However, it is important that we realize such a move is only one step towards maintaining a healthy weight. A trainer alone is not a sustainable solution to weight management.
Even with a trainer, any weight loss is destined to be temporary if you continue to consume more calories than you burn.
Your weight is a never ending cycle of burning and consuming calories. It is a function of the difference between how many calories and fat are consumed and how much is burned or eliminated.
The only true and sustainable approach to weight management is by finding a proper balance of this equation. Diets and sporadic exercise routines won’t outlast this cycle.
If you consume 5,000 calories each day yet burn 6,000 in back to back sessions at the gym you will lose weight. And if you happen to be a world-class body builder then this might be appropriate for you.
If you are not a pro-wrestler you can avoid the trainers, exercise moderately at home, but reduce your calorie count to 1,200 each day and you will also lose weight.
So can a trainer help us? Sure, but what is the point? Unless you are committed to your goal, unless we are willing to change our eating habits while away from a trainer, unless we are willing to exercise at every opportunity not just at three-o’clock, three days a week, any loss is only a temporary loss.
Only when we finally make the choice to change not our weight but our lifestyle, will we. When you change your lifestyle is when you will successfully change and maintain your weight.
If you can come this far, is a trainer necessary? If we are controlling our diet, eating the right portions of healthy foods and getting moderate exercise, outside help should not be necessary.
Every morning on the way to the work or school we all see men and women stretching in preparation for their bike, run or walk along a local nature path. These folks are committed, healthy and don’t require a service that comes with a monthly fee, and neither do you.
Wanna go for a walk?
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Readers: Billions are spent on weight control every year in this country. It would seem most of this money is wasted. What, if anything has helped you to lose and/or maintain a healthy body and lifestyle? Please leave comments below!
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photo by normanack
Do you ever feel like you are losing sight of who you are or what makes you “you”?
| She Said |
He Said |
| I guess you could say that I am having a bit of an identity crisis. This isn’t a mid-life crisis – it is more of a feeling that I am not sure who I am or how I feel about matters.Let me explain. I am one of those people that can often see both sides of the coin. I can hear one person’s point of view – and see why they feel that way. Then I can hear the opposite point of view – and, again, see the “why”. I’m not saying I agree with both sides – but I can usually sympathize with aspects of both sides. I know – some people can’t stand people like me. Some people see me as spineless and “wishy-washy”. If the topic is important to me – I will stand by my guns – just ask Jack! But more often than not – I wallow in the middle of the gray world – I feel for both sides and often have difficulty making a clear-cut decision.
Jack and I differ greatly when it comes to decision-making. He has the enviable ability to make a decision based solely on the merits – and does a terrific job of keeping his emotions out of the process. When it’s me with whom he’s disagreeing – I absolutely hate his non-emotional decision-making. But on more occasions than not, I appreciate his business-like approach. I let my feelings impact my decisions – and feelings make it messy for me.
Jack is a dominate personality – not domineering, but confident and sure. I am more of a non-confrontational, “don’t rock the boat” type. I’m not implying that I let Jack run over me – but over the years, I’ve come to realize that I often simply “adopt” his opinion. Usually a less severe – more middle of the road version of how Jack feels. But the fact remains that I wonder if I’m becoming a “mini-me” of Jack.
I brought this up to him a few weeks ago. I mentioned in passing, that I see me doing more adjusting than him. His comment was something to the effect that it was about time I realize the error of my ways. I laughed at the time – but I wondered later if this is fair. Maybe fair isn’t the right term, but I question whether I should always be the one changing/adjusting. I can’t always be the one who is wrong, can I? Don’t misunderstand me – we don’t disagree about everything. But when we do, it’s definitely a 75/25 split on how often I am the one “adjusting”.
We’ve been married for almost 14 years. They say that a man and his pet start to look similar – does the same apply to spouses? I know I don’t always have a clear answer – but I don’t want to become a mini-Jack.
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They say perception is reality. If each of us is limited to experiencing the world from our own, individual perspective this means that there are a lot of different realities. In my reality Jill is a quiet type. She is down to earth, a warm and loving soul that strives to get along with everyone and please all. She is the person that would take the shirt off her back to help anyone that asked. She is also strong in moral character and has solid values.
She shares concerns over becoming a mini-me (that’s an ugly thought!) yet what I most often see is her standing by her guns!
Jill is more apt to talk about and mull over the details until she is forced to make a choice, but the choice is hers. When it comes to decision making, yeah, OK so I am more apt to come to a conclusion and move on. The drawback is that sometimes my decisions turn out to be pre-mature and would have benefited by slowing down long enough to get further information.
Do I get my way? Certainly! Sometimes. 75/25? I think not! I would like to see the accounting on this one.
There are lots of issues where my position fails to prevail. Kids activities, cell phones, money, college, investing, housekeeping, work, where we live, how we spend time, cable TV, my continuing career and family politics are just a few examples of where Jill not only failed to “adjust” to my point of view but remains sticking to her guns.
Frankly it was Jill’s strength that in part attracted me to her to begin with. It is her stubbornness that in part keeps me interested in Jill.
A mini-me is the last thing this world needs and the last thing I want. A mini-me would be boring not to mention a great way to destroy a beautiful face!
As I see it, relationships are give and take. If you are truly always doing things against your will or want, if you take on the political views and lifestyle of your partner because they demand or force it upon you, it is bad. Bad for you and your health and even bad for your other half.
If you have changed your view or opinion as a result of what you have learned or experienced with another, you have grown as a person. “Adapting” is not bad as long as you are the one making the choice to adapt.
And btw Jill, no, you are not always wrong…. just mostly (hehehe) |
Readers: Are there any other couples that experience similar identity issues? Share your thoughts.
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Why are some of the easiest things actually the most difficult to deal with?
| He Said |
She Said |
| I’ve had it!
I can’t take it anymore!
I will only say this one more time!
I really don’t care!
You would think it is fairly easy. The days of eating only what you can bring home every evening are long gone. We no longer have to hunt and fish in order to feed ourselves. We don’t have to saddle up the horses to go into town. Life is a little more convenient. All we have to do is walk into the kitchen.
Yet for all our convenience in the modern world it seems as if deciding what’s for dinner has become more and more difficult.
At one point in our society’s history we had learned to deal with this problem. While hubby was off slaying dragons, honey would spend her morning figuring it out.
Today, it appears there must be a committee meeting to determine our meal choice. But why?
It’s not like I don’t make it easy. Here is why: My job involves quite a bit of travel. When I travel, while I do have a budgetary restriction, my job provides me plenty of flexibility. If I have a craving for fish, I eat fish. If I have a craving for pizza, pizza it is. The truth is I buy more for convenience. What is close by and gets me back to the hotel sooner? That’s what I am eating. 95% of the time – I simply don’t care.
More than 50% of the time I don’t even have the privilege of eating my wife’s cooking. When the opportunity presents itself to eat something homemade, I am happy to eat it. Like when I’m traveling, its about convenience. If she cooks it and puts it in front of my face, I am more than likely going to eat it (unless it is chicken cacciatore).
When the inevitable question arises “what should we have for dinner?” it’s like living through that movie Groundhog Day. My answer is virtually always the same, “I don’t care.”
If I did care, if I do have a craving or a special desire (which happens about 3 times per year) I will say so. Otherwise, yep, you guessed it, I don’t care. |
Geez, you try to be nice and this is what you get. I never claimed to be June Cleaver – although Jack is sounding a little reminiscent of the “Leave it to Beaver” era on this topic.
Actually, my habit of asking is two-fold. I figure he travels so much and often gets stuck eating at restaurants he didn’t choose that I like to cook things he wants/likes. Don’t feel too sorry for him though – we have a running joke about this – he doesn’t have to hide his trips to the strip club (something he got “stuck” doing a couple times years ago with the person with whom he traveled) but he does have to hide if he eats a good meal- like a sushi extravaganza. a really good filet mignon or a REALLY nice restaurant (The Precinct or The Palm Restaurant). May sound a little twisted to you – but since I don’t get to go out to many restaurants, much less NICE ones, it is a touchy subject for me.
You can guess that when Jack’s in town, the last thing he wants to do is see the inside of a restaurant. The kids and I like going out to eat sometimes as a treat, but since Jack wants home cooked meals, we’ve learned to go out when he’s out of town to get a Subway meal or Panda Express occasionally. I still miss the “sit down” restaurants though. Let’s not even get started on Jack’s point that “restaurants cost money”.
Back to the subject at hand – I remember a week that Jack was in town and I tried to cook his favorites since he’d been on the road so much. I planned filet mignon on the grill one night – but when he came home and saw what I was planning, he got a sheepish smile and said he’d already had a filet the week before. We rarely splurge on filets rather than eat themas often as we used to so we can save a little money and really appreciate a good piece of meat. I was totally deflated that I planned a really good meal – and he’d just eaten it recently. It’s not his fault – but it just bummed me out. The same week, I planned spiced shrimp – but of course it turns out he’d had a night full of sushi the week before. Not quite the same, but again, I try to spread out our seafood nights so we can really enjoy them. That’s it, I threw in the towel – I was done. I was frustrated with the dinner duplication nightmares.
I hate figuring out “what’s for dinner”. Maybe I’d feel differently if I had a larger choice of meals from which to choose. We’ve discussed pre-planning a week or month of meals and shopping accordingly. Jack read that you save money when you do this – so of course now we need to give it a try. What if this is supposed to be a taco night but one of us really wants chicken? I can tell you that I loose a lot of cooking enthusiasm when I have to cook something I’m not in the mood to eat. Jack isn’t very sympathetic about this – it’s just food, who cares? I care when I’m the one busting my ass to put a meal on the table for the family. Each day, I have to figure out something to eat for dinner – it’s my daily chore that I dread. Often, I’ll ask the family for ideas, since nothing is screaming out to me. It helps me if one of the kids begs for “fried” chicken – it may not be my personal favorite, but if they are in the mood for it, that gives me a little encouragement.
Since I’m sitting here bitching about my pathetic lot in life – I know it’s pretty sad – I’d also like to vent my frustration about lunch meals. We are fortunate enough that we live less than 5 minutes from Jack’s work so when he’s in town, he comes home for lunch everyday. I thoroughly enjoy being able to sit and have lunch together – without the kids. But it causes a little frustration too, because Jack expects a prepared lunch meal. Sometimes it works out because we can share a pot of jambalaya or leftover pasta. But more often than not – I just find something to eat when I get hungry – maybe a salad, or soup or sandwich. I gather he doesn’t like coming home and having to “wing it” for lunch.
Ok, I”m off my high horse and ready to hear how you do it. Am I being a witch for asking what he’d like for dinner? Would it be better if I asked Jack what he ate while he was on the road, and be sure not to duplicate what he’s already had? Share your thoughts and ideas with us. |
Readers: Does it really have to be an issue? How do you and your family determine what’s for dinner each night?
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We have a teen and a tween. Before long we are going to be faced with the great college conundrum.
| He Said |
She Said |
| So college is coming for our kids, maybe.
So many parents automatically assume that little Johnny and Sally will be going to college. We implant the expectation early, we push our kids to do well in school and encourage community service to round out their collegiate applications.
In their junior and senior years of high school kids will be filling out applications and visiting schools trying to figure out where they want to go and what they want to study.
Paying for it, often, falls upon the parents, maybe.
Should parents be responsible for their children’s higher education? I think not!
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I will no longer provide any aid or support to my children after they turn 18! I am saying though that they should begin earning their own way.
It has been my experience that others, and I, have a greater level of satisfaction and appreciation for that which we earned than that which we received.
As the youngest of five I saw three siblings have a chance to attend college with expenses paid; all three blew it! Partying was more important than their studies.
I had a friend that received a new Trans-Am in high school. It was totaled within a year. Before the insurance company could process the claim, the father replaced the car with a another brand new one.
For the good of the kids I believe they should earn their education, at least most of it.
There is also the additional consideration of our financial future. Like many Americans I did not come from a family that held all things financial as private. It was not cool to discuss or ask about finances. As a result I grew up ignorant of the most basic best practices of financial management.
Though we finally have some direction with respect to our financial well-being, we still have a long way to go. It is very difficult to justify jeopardizing our retirement for a kid’s education that they may never use. |
Can you imagine how fun it is to have the college talk in our house? Yeah, it’s not fun. Obviously, given how hard-core Jack’s position is, it can only follow that I’m going to disagree. In this case, since he’s so “out there” it gives me so much with which to disagree. Welcome to my world people!
I went to college – but I didn’t finish. I’m ashamed to say that I quit with 90 credits under my belt – needing 122 to graduate. So I only had a year left when I gave up. Why you may wonder? Because I let real life get in the way of finishing school – not something I recommend to anyone. My life expenses required that I work more hours to pay for them, which meant taking less classes until I just quit because I couldn’t then pay for the classes and life. Big regret of mine – can’t even begin to express the disappointment I feel about not getting my degree.
My parents paid for the first couple of years of college for me – I paid books and incidentals. When I moved off campus, my parents paid tuition while I covered everything else. It’s a harsh dose of reality to realize that rent, car and life is expensive.
Our 8th grade son is, of course, a great kid. Did you really expect me to say anything different? He’s brilliantly smart and does very little to work for it. I keep saying he’s going to have a hard adjustment in college because he does so little to earn his great grades. Being a realistic mom, I can also be honest enough to admit that, given the chance, he is the laziest kid on this planet. I say that with the utmost love, but it’s true. I think we have our work cut out for us when it comes to getting this one to carry his load for college.
Jack and I have really tried to instill in our kids the importance of saving money early and appreciating the concept of not accumulating debt. Ok, ok – so Jack was the real catalyst on this – I admit. I rode his coattails for a long while until I finally got my butt in gear and joined the save money train. The kids save 20% of everything they get (allowance and gift money), and I periodically clear out their piggy banks and dump their money into their mutual funds.
I never once claimed that I expected us to pick up the entire tab for their education. However, I’m not a believer in handing college to them and saying, “Ok, enjoy yourself, bye!”. I truly believe they need to contribute something to their education to most appreciate the privilege of attending college. I won’t even go into the subject of providing them the opportunity to be competitive when they enter the job world..
I expect both of them to get jobs and save their pennies for school. I expect them to spend extensive time searching for every possible scholarship they can find. However, I don’t like Jack’s approach of making them feel like they are totally on their own to pay for school. I don’t want to threaten or sacrifice our retirement – but I want to be supportive in both a financial and emotional manner. Supportive in that I want to assist, help and facilitate their college experience. I don’t want to give them a free ride – I want a far more balanced approach than Jack suggests.
Please tell me there are people who agree with me! Please leave your comments and tell Jack to lighten up! I guess you can tell me to jump off a bridge, but I won’t like those comments as much! |
Readers: Did you pay for your own education, and did it make a difference in how much effort you made or how you felt about earning your degree?
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Criticism is a part of life. We encounter it at work and at home. But is criticism something that we should avoid or embrace?
| He Said |
She Said |
| I grew up in a critical family. My father bitched and complained about everything it seemed. One moment he was lamenting about how congress was ruining our country, the next he would condemn how my mother cooked a meal.
As a child I hated hearing negativity at every turn. We were never good enough, we didn’t try hard enough in sports, we didn’t study hard enough in school, the neighbors were morons, his coworkers were ignorant and society sucked.
While still a teen, in an act of rebellion, I began reading and listening to a wide variety of self-help and motivational gurus like Zig Ziglar, Ken Blanchard and Dale Carnegie. For years my personal motto was “PMA all the way” (Positive mental attitude).
Having PMA, I learned, is pretty easy when life is simple. If your only responsibility is yourself, your expenses low and your income sufficient to afford a little fun there may not be much to bring you down.
As life progresses and becomes more complicated we find more and more reasons to be critical.
Professionally we take on more responsibility, we have more people dependent upon us and/or we depend more on others. The more our lives become intertwined with others the more situations arise that inconvenience us.
Personally our lives also grow. We get married, we have kids and become more engaged in our communities. The more we interact with others, again, the more we expose ourselves to criticism and being critical of others.
In most cases, criticism is seen as a bad thing. We are impatient, lack empathy or understanding of others. We are in bad moods and sensitive to comments or perceptions that others have of us.
But what if we look a little deeper at the criticism we hear? What if we didn’t take criticism as a personal attack? Could we find something positive in the criticism we receive?
Like virtually everyone, Jill can be critical as well. She doesn’t like how crispy I cook bacon, she comments about how much time I spend working on my hobbies or the computer, she bitches about the crap I leave on the dining room table and she questions my critical nature.
In the heat of the moment, I often get defensive and sometimes even pissed off. After-all it is not like she always cooks things perfectly and she leaves her own share of clutter throughout the house.
But taking a step back for a moment, thinking about criticism with a fresh perspective, how she cooks chicken cacciatore has nothing to do with how I cook bacon.
If my bacon sucks, it sucks. We are imperfect animals but often unwilling to admit this. We shun criticism and project the perception that we are perfect. In doing so we never take the opportunity presented to us to learn from the criticism and to improve. |
I have to give Jack credit – he took the high road on a subject that I expected him to blast me. Criticism is a sore subject in our house – I think we all (Jack, John, Jane and myself) feel a little defensive.
The odd thing is that we are very supportive of one another – whether it be Jane’s soccer game or piano recital or John’s academic tournament or swim meet. When I know Jack is working hard on an upcoming presentation I try to offer all the encouragement and support I can. The three of them are equally supportive of whatever endeavor I may have (though fewer and far between in comparison).
Honestly, I think Jack and I both strive to offer a supportive environment because we both lacked it as kids. My step-father was bitingly critical of everything my mom did – and the ‘trickle down’ theory was alive in well in our house because my mom was then very critical of how I cleaned house, how I cooked something or how I folded laundry. Don’t get me wrong – I wasn’t treated like Cinderella – though I thought that at the time!
Where we often don’t realize how hurtful we can be is in the little things of everyday life. Like about the bacon. Jack cooks breakfast at least once every weekend. I am notorious for ‘commenting’ if there is a lot of crispy bacon and not a lot of what Jack likes to call ’slimy’ bacon. It is something so little and rather insignificant, but when similar comments are directed at you on more than one occasion, I can see where the criticism gets old and you start to get defensive and want to retaliate. Jack, I am very sorry that I nit-pick at you.
On the flip side, there are ways to offer criticism so that someone can actually benefit from it. If you are trying to help someone improve how they do something, it is important to not speak to them in front of a crowd and speak respectively and kindly. Even if it isn’t offered constructively, we as the recipient of a critical comment need to look beyond the negatively and try to understand what the underlying reason is and see if there is something that we could improve. I don’t know about you, but I am never above trying to improve how I do or say something. As long as you don’t berate me or beat me down with nastiness, I am open to suggestions.
I like to call this blog therapy. This is a pleasant reminder that we all have our faults – and that we can make a conscious effort to improve how we communicate with one another. I often tell my son John that you can catch more bees with honey – now it’s time for me to practice what I preach. |
Readers: What about you – do the everyday critical remarks get to you? Do you have a better way to get your point across without hurting or pissing off your family? Please share your efforts to be kind in your criticisms – I am sure we could all afford to learn about positive ways to communicate.
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I know I sound like such a newbie – but I wanted to express my surprise and happiness with this new world.
| She Said |
He Said |
| Jack convinced me to join the blogging world a couple months ago – and it’s been a big adjustment for me. He’s been blogging for many months and has been very successful at it.
I have been learning a lot about the inner workings and etiquette of this new world.
There have been two surprises for me. First, I’ve been surprised by my ability to write for other eyes. I’ve historically written just for me – journals, stories, etc. Writing for virtual strangers is a unique feeling. I thought I would have difficulty letting myself go and putting my thoughts to words. It has been very therapeutic and enjoyable. I strive to improve . . . wish me luck!
Secondly, the biggest thing for me has been the friendliness I’ve encountered. I’ve been trying to find blogs to which I can relate and enjoy. Before we actually launched this endeavor I started reading blogs and comments (per my husband’s instructions) and have been so pleased to see how helpful and friendly everyone is. If someone posts a blog asking for ideas or advice, you virtual wonder-bloggers have come to her rescue with ideas, support and virtual hugs. It feels good to see and share in positive experiences. Sometime I want to escape the vicious world and go find my ‘happy place’. It feels good to have a place to express my point of view – until Jack pipes in (just kidding honey!).
Anyway, I know I still have a lot to learn. Thank you to those who have stopped and left us comments. Thanks to all you wonderful writers out there that inspire me and teach me. |
Well now our cover is blown, yes we admit it, we are not natural born writers! Like my lovely bride, I never aspired to write anything let alone write for anyone else.
The experience has been primarily one of learning. For me it all started with an inspiration to share some knowledge. I had one thing I wanted to share but the magazines representing my hobby only wanted to publish it if they held full rights forever in every way plus an option to name my grandson! Instead I launched a blog and quickly became fascinated by the blogging platforms and related technology. After some time however a new desire grew, the desire to improve. Improve my writing, my blog and my ability to communicate something of value.
Success in blogging is debatable. What is success? If that means making a living off of blogging and signing a movie deal – well, we are not even close! That is like hitting the lottery. Is success being recognized by the blogging community? I can claim that, but what really matters is readers. While I do enjoy several hundred readers each day I think success is several thousand. We’ve still got a long way to go!
Like all communities, blogging has its own culture. I’ve found different genres of blogging may be completely different. I cannot express how happy I am that Jill discovered the brighter side of blogging, unfortunately there is a dark side as well.
In my limited experience bloggers fall into one of three categories. They are either writers, hobbyists or looking for the money!
In each category you find some truly special people. There have been bloggers that have guided me to answers, provided advice and even contributed their blogs programming code.
Bloggers can be a very supportive group to what is essentially their competition. If you are a reader of blogs you will see references to other blogs, round-ups or reviews of other blogs and even Carnivals (traveling lists of blogs to read). Every time you see one blog referenced by another, you are seeing something truly special.
It’s like Macy’s recommending Gimbels.
On the other side there are those that are critical of newcomers even abrasive. Are they taking out their own discontent on others or do they think this behavior towards the newbie is a rite of passage, everyone pays their dues?
Regardless, like in life, in blogging you will rarely satisfy everyone. It’s best to blog with passion and ignore the noise. |
Blogs are information and insight given away for free. Why do you think bloggers are so generous?
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Any one else fighting the Battle of the Bulge?
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